Progess

From June:

My mind is a busy bee. I’ve been sick for three days. It’s amazing, isn’t it, the perspective being sick brings?

It’s June in North Dakota and believe it or not it actually does get hot here! But yesterday I walked outside and because of my fever I got goosebumps. In June.

Yesterday I couldn’t eat. I broke a sweat folding one load of laundry. Yesterday I had to rely on a friend to make supper for my kids because I couldn’t and my husband is out of town.

Today I wanted to eat EVERYTHING. I had energy. I gave my three boys baths and fed them all three meals. And you know what? I celebrated those chicken nuggets because yesterday…yesterday I could barely fold laundry. Progress.

All day I’ve been playing catch up — all the dishes I didn’t get done, the laundry piles in the basement that really CAN’T wait anymore.  The cheerios spilled on the floor.  Again.  As soon as I start one project my mind buzzes to the next. I KNOW I’m not alone here, no need to raise your hand.

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It goes like this: I’m paying bills and need a pen. The next thing I know I’m cleaning out my purse. I take the stack of hair ties from my purse to the bathroom and I wonder, “Who left these clothes on the floor!?” (Me) Somehow I end up starting a load of laundry and writing this at midnight, surrounded by toys, unstamped bills, and a microwave that I noted today needs a good scrubbing. It feels like I worked NONSTOP ALLLLL day and have little to show for it.

As I talked to my husband on the phone about my busy bee brain and lack of accomplishing anything noteworthy, he gently reframed my thinking.

“So you spent the day playing with the boys, praying with them, resting, disciplining. The results aren’t visible, but you made disciples of our kids and invested In Christ’s Kingdom.”

I DID do that! We read books. They ran through the sprinkler. I gave them baths and instructed them at least a thousand times not to splash me. I made them chicken nuggets!! (Progress, not perfection) I let them play board games by their rules (none) and we had a picnic. I tucked each one in, prayed, and sang a night night song.

This is it. This is discipleship. This is teaching Thanksgiving. And how to ask for forgiveness. And how to say sorry. And how to talk to God. And how to love one another.

Not one single house in my room is clean. Not one. But there is progress.

It’s sort of like salvation. Not one of us is good by our own right. Not even one. But because of Jesus we are being made perfect. Progress.

❤ Ashley

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